I described my reading habits as a child to a friend today, "I had a cognitive delay. I would read a paragraph aloud and then wouldn't be able to recall what I read." She paused and said "delay? You are one of the most intelligent people I know."
It struck me then, to the rest of the world "delay" has a connotation of unintelligent. To me it has only ever meant more time to process, more time to gain a greater understanding of the words in front of me. She certainly meant no harm by her words, in fact she was paying me a compliment which I thanked her for, but I couldn't help but suddenly see myself through her eyes. From there my brain began to wonder, has my dyslexia truly had such a large effect on my adult life? And should people be impressed that I made it through a history degree without any additional help or special considerations? I never really thought so but others always had.
I have often had to deal with teachers, friends, and co-workers who lacked an understanding of dyslexia both in the effects and the generalities. That is to say, most underestimated my abilities, or over compensated for me. Each of these tactics were as difficult to deal with as the people who paid no attention to it at all. As a child, I had the luxury of tutors and time to overcome my learning curve. As an adult student I had to learn different ways of dealing with the lengthy reading tasks in front of me. Which I think I managed with equal amounts of determination and patience.
I am proud to say I never used cliff's notes in college, and I never read a review in hopes of gaining the content of a book. Reviews are for giving professional works context in their field or for letting you know if other historians believe what the author is trying to prove. Not for gaining a sneak peak or a real understanding and opinion of the work.
Was the weekly amount of reading daunting? Absolutely! Did I fall behind? On occasion, but every student does. Oh and in case there is any debate, I'll say it here and now, history majors read more than any other major. Don't let the english lit. majors fool you, they read one book and analyze it. Historians have to read five books just to confirm one fact, (when we're lucky.).
More then two years into my degree a friend of mind, who was studying engineering at the time, told me that he couldn't study history, because "you had to learn and know too much." I laughed out loud. The engineer, a profession I couldn't even pretend to imagine doing for it's conceptual math and complex ideas, was telling me that history was too hard. I had chosen it because it spoke to me and it wasn't until I was neck deep that I realized dyslexia might make this a challenge. Nothing in my education had been simple so as always I accepted it, accommodated it and stubbornly refused help on tests or extended deadlines for reports simply based on the fact that I was "afflicted." My delay was any other students similar distraction, TV, friends, or a job. They couldn't get special consideration and neither would I. All students face some kind of challenge, so make an exception for one you must make it for all. Each student learns how to fit our unique circumstances into our college life.
This entire thought stream lead me to this question. If I will have dyslexia for the rest of my life was it ever a benefit to me in school or college to move a deadline or take a slightly different test? No boss was going to make the same kind of accommodation for me. I needed to learn to work around my delay. Despite the years of frustration, hours of re-reading and lower grades I received I will never say I wish I had done things differently. Those few tools I was given in grade school, summers of tutoring from my aunt and my shear force of will provided me with the capabilities to adjust, evaluate and succeed in every task I came across. My degree means that much more because I had to fight for it.
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